At Year’s End

We approach the dawn of a new year – 2012 – an auspicious one according to the ancient prophecies, an old order is ending, a new consciousness birthing, apparently. Galactic precedence established such definition long before any of us blinked awake in this lifetime. It seems the best option may be to live into it, I assess eyes open, hearts willing to embrace a new tomorrow. The earth with its upheavals and shake-ups now physically and politically leads the way.

At this year’s end though, I can’t help but gaze backwards. The future will unfurl, but the past I feel a poignant twist of feelings for. 2011 has been a ‘winner’ for me, I might say. My dreams have come true- I am healthy again, vibrant, creating, working HARD on a new career path and thriving. Five years ago I was plastered to my sofa, unable to cook, drive a car, go to a parent- teacher meeting or even walk unassisted. The Lyme had maimed me. I have shed it all- like a snake wriggling free from an outgrown skin. Rebirth.

I see the seasons melding in reversal. In awe I watch my own self breezing into the world with “Out of The Woods”; lectures, book signings, radio, myriads of people and an amazing community of Lyme fold merging with me and my message. I soak it in like a sponge.

It is summer. The days are long. I distance swim at the pond. New friendships are forged there. One magical evening in August, a rain shower spawns a double rainbow and I swim into the hues, color plummeting into the pond with me. How miraculous was that? A once in a lifetime moment. At age eighty I will tell of the glory of swimming into a rainbow!

Springtime. My son graduates middle school. Love. Abundance. Joy. Pride. Flowers. Song. Families. Cherished words cascade. I am filled up and up and up to the very brim. Accomplishment and beauty entwined.

Wintertime. Chickadees dip in flight. Moonlight at my shoulders as I sit crimped at the computer at 1:00 AM, editing the manuscript AGAIN!! I work best alone in the dark, the household sleeping. My mind free. Words flow like silken ribbons.

2011 has been an industrious year for me. I’ve worked as hard as I did in my thirties. Wow. And, I learned so much, too. All the while I sense there is more work to come. the Lyme situation knocks on too many doors. May Spirit guide me forward.

I am blessed. I feel deep respect for the precious gift of renewal. The once hollow gouge in my chest is gone. My Reiki practitioner tells me my chakras are full and humming so beautifully now. This new lease on life is my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I bow to 2011 with reverence, and turn to peer into 2012 with promise.

May each one of us be fortunate enough to have even one experience, understanding or achievement to be grateful for in the year 2011. I personally thank the wonderful people who have embraced “Out of The Woods”. We are united at a psychic level through this special book- I feel the web of union weaving us together. This lovely synergy buoys us all. More energy compounds for us as we hold hands in spiritual union.

Take a moment to feel and reflect on a moment of grace or beauty in the past year. It can be a touchstone to return to in a troubled patch. Gratitude builds strength. May we all prosper in 2012!

Katina

Interesting news

I learned some interesting news this week in the spectrum of Lyme disease. Another organism, called FL 1953, which is a protozoa, is considered to be a similar vector borne infection. (Vector borne means transmitted by the bite of mosquitos, ticks, fleas). FL 1953 creates very similar symptoms to Lyme- exhaustion, muscle pains (fibromyalgia), weakness, headaches, and “that” horrid empty chest/shallow breath sensation so many of us know from Lyme disease suffering.

Dr. Fry, of Arizona, is the scientist responsible for identifying FL 1953, and his diagnostic testing is finally approved for use, the promise here is that FL 1953 could be the ‘link’ for so many cases of ‘Lyme’ that are not fully responding to even long-term use of antibiotic therapy. We all know people who have been battling Lyme for years, even decades, and are not making significant progress with LLMD’s. Apparently, there is good success of easily eradicating FL 1953 from the body with IV antibiotics.

Wouldn’t this be a positive step for tens of thousands, if FL 1953 is truly a cause for prolonged illness in many chronic Lyme cases? The following website link was passed to me. As this is all quite ‘new’ on the Lyme radar, I can’t vouch for true validity, as I have yet to confer with the Lyme labs and doctors I know on the matter, but I think the FL 1953 discovery is likely important.

Being mosquito transmitted and abundant in the south, Florida in particular, FL 1953 may be a link to the CFS, fibromyalgia ‘explosion’ over the last two decades.

Let’s keep our antennae up for more news on this FL 1953 subject. Let me know what you find out, too.

Katina

http://christavanderham.blogspot.com/2011/01/mysterious-devastating-curable-fl-1953.html

Spirit of Giving

I dash amid the wheels of shopping carts, the grocery store in a pre Christmas skirmish of shoppers; hams and clementines topping the neighbors’ wares in the aisle with me. So much effort and love goes into these days of sharing and caring, it seems. I am a tad behind the curve this year, only selecting our tree this Sunday, actually finding the last one in town. Now, its’ bushy branches hoist my childhood ornaments of 50 years ago and my son’s tongue depressor reindeer from first grade. So prettily it twinkles now in colored baubles.

The thought I am gnawing on though was prompted in the market. Reaching for a cart, I backed up and brushed the heel of a woman leaving with her bags of food.  A mere brush of my shoe and somehow she went into stock still frozen mode. I moved ahead and then glanced back…she still was frozen. I turned and went  back to check on her…

“Are you Ok?” I ask.

“No. I have a back problem and now am in pain,” an icey voice and stoney glare ahead, not at me.

“I am sorry. I know about pain. Can I help you in some way?”I offer.

“No. No one can help me,” the tone, like cement.

“Should I help you wheel your cart?”

“No.”

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. My foot just skimmed by your heel,” my sensing words express.

Stillness…no words, no eye contact.

I weave my energy from my heart towards hers….I stay still.

She looks at me oddly. I smile. She glowers.

“I hope you have a Merry Christmas,” I suggest.

“Not possible,”she mumbles.

Am I daunted? Am I put off? A bit……then a thought arises in me. Her cart is shallow in groceries compared to the others. Maybe she is alone?

“So, do you have family to help you?”

“No.”

It was then that I felt her pain, more than the back, than the shoe skimming. It was the pain of lonliness. I knew that feeling.

I then heard weird words coming from me…..”Well, I hope the spirit of your ancestors visit you this Christmas. They can be a kind of company maybe?”

“Yes. I have already lit the candles for them,” the crackled woman says.

Finally, her eyes meet mine.

I smile. She tries to. I nod. She moves on, and I hear very faintly…..”God bless.”

I turn and enter into the maze of aisles.

God bless us all….alone, in company, in comfort, in peace, in need, in joy.

A Birth

On October 1, 2011 “Out of The Woods” arrived on my doorstep, in a UPS rush delivery, after publishing snafus and shipping drama. It was a mere three hours before  the books’ launch party and Lyme disease fundraiser. Excitement ran high. Autumn leaves in aubergine hues, delicious platters of lovingly prepared food, Judy Blake’s lush songstress voice filled the renovated old mill building, as 150 of us toasted the birth of my book and the accomplishment of my ten year healing journey from chronic Lyme.

I must say I felt like Cinderella at the royal ball, an ‘up from the ashes’ moment for me, to be surrounded by such glory and enchantment, in counterpoint to the crippling isolation and invalid status I lay dormant in during the grueling years of protracted illness. With friends and family, fellow Lymies and well-wishers in attendance, I witnessed true support for a new beginning. Beautiful words and stacks of “Out of The Woods” ribboned in grosgrain bows cemented the reality for me- I did it! I healed, I wrote a book of compassionate truths and now I birthed the baby!! WOW! Could I fly any higher than this miraculous night?

Well guess what? I am, and I am in awe!

The last two months have been chock full. Every week I have been about in the world sharing this special book and my message of hope and healing. Lyme lectures, book signings, radio shows, workshops, traveling hither and yon. Seven states fourteen venues- it has been a whirlwind!

I am meeting the most amazing people! Fellow Lymies, their caretakers, shopkeepers, concerned and curious folks, on walkers, in wheelchairs, grey in pallor, and in deep need of repair. So many of you dear people have come to greet me. Having walked through the hellish catacombs of Lyme disease myself, I osmotically sense the feeling and struggles so many of you are facing. I know how hard it is. You must hold on! Your life is too precious to give up on.

I wrote this book for all of you. I went out on a limb, some might say, to expose my own vulnerability and the rawness of the suffering so many of us experience in the dark cavern of this decimating illness. I took that courageous step though, because I could not bear the suffering to continue in such buried status any longer. My voice is one of thousands, it is not unique, I merely have spoke more loudly for us all. It is time we are heard.

Flying higher now than I ever dreamed was possible, I of course feel my mighty eagle ally. 🙂 Riding home from Hanover, NH on a Saturday night after a booksigning, alone on the dark NH highway, Orion’s belt twinkled through the windshield, guiding stars truly, on my journey homeward and metaphorically in this passage of sharing “Out of The Woods”. I felt a palpable knowing suddenly on the isolated highway- that I am on the right path and guided on this wondrous journey! Destiny is in my hand!

Journeys are so important in life. Journeys to taste foreign cultures, journeys to reunite with old friends and journeys inward to our soul’s center all have special meaning. I embrace this new journey now, of sharing “Out of The Woods”, its story and healing message, with all of you. My wish is that you too can embrace your own healing journey and may feel comfortable to share some pieces of it here with us on the blog. Expressing from the heart is part of the healing. Take some time to close your eyes, breathe slowly, lay your hand over your heart. Sense what lies within that heartspace. Take a pen, write it down. Release the energy onto the page. Do this regularly, tapping into your heart. Feel free to share some discoveries with us.

Katina

join my new blog, lyme afflicted or not.

Hi facebook friends!

I am inviting you all to join my new blog, ‘Journeys in Healing’ and to share it with any others you may sense would like to mingle with us. This is a time and place I am creating for those of us who wish to communicate, muse or inspire others towards a hopeful path in healing.

I intimately understand that healing is a journey that ‘happens on the inside’. We can be prompted, comforted, supported by external measures, yet the wellspring of inner resources we each bear, is limitless really and most importantly needs to be nurtured in spirit and with the empathy of others.

So, let’s unite!

Katina

Gratitude

I feel honored to be meeting so many amazing people in these recent weeks of publicity with OUT OF THE WOODS, my new book on Lyme disease recovery. Thank you one and all for coming out to meet me, to share your stories and to band together together as we carve open a swathe towards a better understanding of this convoluted illness.

Events this weekend with “OUT OF THE WOODS”.

Busy weekend for me with “OUT OF THE WOODS”. Please feel free to come join me or let others know that I will be at:

friday, dec, 2, 5:30- 7:30 pm..EVERYONE’S BOOKS, Brattleboro, VT. Lecture and signing.

saturday, dec 2, 5-7:00 pm…DARTMOUTH BOOKSTORE, Hanover , NH – authorpalooza!

local authors signing and raising funds for the Valley Haven.

Be well!